不形單不隻影

不形單不隻影

2021年9月15日 星期三

 回憶錄 2揣摩天意

 

我的孩子經常都會在我的病床邊揣摩天意。

“人類跟禽獸的結局若然都是一樣,那麼,人類又為何要在行為上跟禽獸有分別,以換取好人有好報這個美麗的結果呢?”

孩子看著我躺在病床上十九年,心裡經常無語問蒼天。

“一個好人,為何會變成為植物人”。

就恰似孩子曾經跟我一起在病床邊看過的電影《阿甘正傳》裡的男配角 丹中尉 在戰場上失去了兩條腿之後,把半身殘廢的遭遇全都放在 造物弄人 的冷酷無情當中;從此時此刻開始,就不曾跟 上帝說過半句話;亦把一腔怨憤情緒或多或少的投射在戰場上救他一命不死的 阿甘 身上;恰似是 阿甘 要為他餘生變成殘廢的遭遇負上責任,倒不如讓他轟轟烈烈的戰死在沙塲上。

孩子,我變成為 植物人 就是我這一生的際遇如此。不論你是否選擇守候在我病床邊,我也是會如此。能夠感覺到有你在身旁,這就是我此生的福氣;只是,打從心底內卻並不希望是在這種情況下見到你;如此的一幕,該怎樣去評價 造物者是如何去定下芸芸眾生的一生際遇!

或者,來到這一刻在孩子心目中,根本就沒有甚麼 造物神奇。每一個 活物 都只是各自在週遭環境裡去尋找一個可以容納自己的位置;有些日子會把自身的位置放得太高,而另一些日子又會把自身的價值放得太低;沒有多少個日子能夠合乎中道。

有時候,在我被困在這個殘存的肉身裡的日子,在那一刻不能動彈一根指頭的瞬間,也會打從心底裡問一句“為何我會如此?”;從來都沒有去接受“本來就是如此的安排”這個殘忍的答案!

斷乎的說,沒有人會接受躺在病床上動彈不得去渡過餘生。只是改變不了在那一刻從重昏迷狀況漸漸甦醒過來的時候,從前擁有的感觀觸覺已經不一樣子!

原來,已經有兩個月的日子我自己是處於不懂得自行呼吸的狀況!

有一條喉管從我的口插進來直到喉嚨的位置,依照一定的頻率一下接著一下的把氧氣送入肺部,以此來確保我活著!

要活著,原來是殊不容易!

從前,睡醒之後,睜開雙眼,舒展一下手腳,就可以從床上爬起來。在孫女兒還是貼身小寶貝的日子,看著她一雙半睜半開矇矓的眼睛,為了趕著在校園響起後一次提醒開始上課的鐘聲之前就要把小寶貝送到校園,一邊為仍然閉上眼睛的娃娃穿上校服,一邊哄她多吃幾口早點,就是自己還未梳洗更衣也顧不了!

每一天的上學日子都是在連哄帶鬧的婆孫情當中渡過!

日子多麼的美好!

現在,日子不一樣了!

在我從重度昏迷漸漸過渡至每一天有數小時可以自行呼吸的日子,我的孩子每一天傍晚都會來到腦外科高度護理病房,提醒我要一下接著一下的慢慢自行呼吸。

說實話,我真的有聽從他們的要求,使勁地去練習把氧氣吸入自己的肺部,之後再呼出來;只是,當我呼吸到肋疲力竭的時候,再次跌進昏睡階段,我的呼吸循環又會停擺;這時候,那部自動呼吸機再要擔當我的續命使者。

那段日子,並不容易!

一個不再懂得呼吸的人,本該就是要離開。

那時候醫學倡明,把我的小命保住!

只是,接著又如何呢?

其實,人 總是會把降臨在自己身上的不幸原原本本的傳遞給其他人,一丁點兒沒差別的轉移在其他人身上,彷彿如此的舉措才是活下去的“強心劑”。

坦白地的說,能夠把蒼天放在自己身上的詛咒像廣東諺語那樣子的“打落門牙和血吞”,不把禍水潑出去濺在其他蒼生身上的人並不多;總會是一個接著一個的承傳著別人的不幸。

如此,就是所謂的“一個人的不幸,造就不了其他人的生命”。

有些日子,身處在不幸的人真的不需要對別人幹甚麼實質的事情,只是喃喃自語的說造物弄人就足以摧毁另一個人的生命!當然,更多的人是毫不保留的“己所不欲,全施於人”。

我那個孩子,就是牢記著我的身教“己所不欲,勿施於人”!所以,他一直活在寂靜無語當中。

要求自己不把禍水潑出去濺在別人身上,絕對不是一件容易的事情;因為社會的經驗告訴給很多人知道,經常顧念別人感受的人,只會吃虧!把受罰的責任轉移到其他人身上就是明哲保身的處世之道。

所以,這個世界在某一角度而言,烏煙瘴氣!沒有人會在芸芸眾生當中看到那一點燭光正在照耀著遠處的某一個角落,讓人感覺到踏實,欣慰;眼底之下盡是蒼然狼藉的生活環境,怎麼可以會活得精彩。

沒有想到我的孩子在不自覺的情況下,讓病房內的探病家屬看到這個世界還是有值得為之奮鬥的一面。

那天,我又再次在家裡因為感冒引致身體出現痙攣,孩子就召喚救護車把我送回去廣華醫院的腦外科病房。那時候病房還是容許那些經常進出病房的病人家屬在不影響病房正常運作的情況下,逗留在病房內照顧病人。

孩子是一個在病房裡不多言的病人家屬,每天在病房裡的十多個小時,都只會侍候在病床邊,絕對不會騷擾其他人;每當發現我的氣管內有過多的分泌物,就會以熟練的程序為我抽取那些分泌物;察覺到我有需要更換紙尿片就為我清潔妥當;如此的境況,看在其他人眼裡就是會讓人雞皮疙瘩。那一夜,我聽到彼鄰病床的一個家屬感慨的說:「她的孩子,讓我不由自主的,感動起來!」

“感動”這兩個字,我已經無言以對。

自己的孩子如此這般的照顧著我,換來旁人發自內心的“感動”,我可以怎麼樣子的回答呢?

所謂的“天意”來到這個節根兒,人可以如何去“揣摩”呢?

是先去“建造”之後去“摧毁”!

還是,

是先去“摧毁”之後去“建造”!

還是,

是“摧毁”與“建造”循環不適地去輪迴!

倘若有人說是“輪迴”,到了我離開之後,孩子離開之後,孫兒離開之後,又有誰人會知道在此世間曾經有個這麼樣子的一個“輪迴”呢?

我曾經活在這世間的故事,百年之後,不會再有人知道箇中因由;那麼,這些在病房裡讓人雞皮疙瘩的事情,價值在那裡呢?

這個問題直到現在都困擾著我的孩子。

孩子在我變成為“植物人”之前是一個虔誠的“基督徒”,在家裡所有家務都不用我去料理,只看這一點舉措,就教天下的母親羡慕了!

我從來沒有教他要讓媽媽閑在家裡享福,只是不知何時開始,他就是如此的去演繹自己在家裡的角式,這已經讓我感覺到心滿意足了!

倘若,能夠留住這麼樣子的一個人生畫面,讓一位母親安祥地去世,會是多麼幸福的一個結局!

 

2020年10月6日 星期二

 回憶憶 第一章 安身立命

走過了人生第一個交义點!

我的孩子呀!你終於開始寫自己的故事了!

歲月流逝了二十三年,你才不再為我這個老人家寫輓歌,而是用心去為你自己將要如何活下去描繪一個藍圖;如此,我就知道你開始願意解除那個你自己套在頸項上的枷鎖。這個枷鎖是從我第一天陷入重昏迷開始,就一直牢牢的束縛著你;這是非我所願的。縱然這亦是一個年邁老人在心底裡萬般渴望當自己臥病在床的日子裡,兒女能夠不離不棄守候在病床邊;只是,當親眼見到親情緊緊連繫到病床邊的時候,卻又心痛。那是一種源自一顆赤子之心而能夠溫暖旁人內心的“赤痛”。別人看在眼裡,打從心底裡的問“這是如何的一個女人,會教養出如此般的一個孩子”。倘若,他們真的如此般的問我,我只能夠回答“我並沒有教他要如此般的照顧我,而是那孩子從我體內走出來的那天開始就是如此”。

這是喜,亦是悲!

在我變成為一個植物人之前兩年,在一個與往常無異的下午,只有我與這個孩子在家裡,本來只是不經意的閒談著一些家常話,壓根兒沒有想到會從孩子口中聽到這一句話“媽,無論將來我是否成家立室,也會跟你同住的!”

那時候,我的眼睛紅了!

在那個當下,身為人母,不論站在眼前的那個孩子能否信守承諾,都已經足夠了,無憾了。

沒有想到,孩子真的說到做到。

我變成為植物人之後,孩子帶著我搬了五次家。

每一次搬家,孩子都會為我添購幾種給與嚴重傷殘病人使用的器材,就是在這樣子的搬家過程當中,來到了我人生最後一次進入醫院,回頭一瞥孩子跟我相依的窩居,在不知不覺間已經變成了一間設備齊全的病房。

這可以如何去評價呢?

當我踏入了風燭殘年的歲月,日子一天比一天的難走;其實,我根本就動不了!我這個孩子,就是為了照顧一個不能動身子的媽媽傷透了腦筋。結果,他想到了把一個與我相依為命的窩居變成為一間病房。

為此,孩子付出了所有。恰似是他從內心深處一點一滴挖出那個看似是快要枯乾的水井;明明就是已經看不到一丁點兒的泉源,還是使勁的向下挖;愈是向下挖,他愈是無言;漸漸地,無言便成為了他的習慣了!

或許,這對於孩子而言,是一件好事吧!

孩子不再想花心力向這個世界講述他的人生了!

如何去過自己的人生明明就是他自己去選擇的,那又為何需要向別人交代呢!

別人聽過了,知道了,那又如何呢?孩子還是要自己帶著我來來往往病房與家居,這他都自己去習慣了!

孩子這樣子的一種習慣,讓我這個身為人母的有著千萬個不情願的心結,當中最難去解開的,就是當那天我真的要離開的時候,我的孩子將要如何的活下去!凡人生命裡最重要的兩個十年,孩子選擇回到我身邊,陪伴在病床邊跟我一起走完人生最後一程。只是,沒有人會想到這一程漫漫長路,一走就是十九年。

 孩子,媽媽是不想你這樣子的陪伴在我的病床邊。這就是為人父母心底裡最矛盾的時刻;心裡是想看到,但卻是不情願真的出現在眼前。

媽媽想孩子展翅高飛,去尋找那個屬於你的天地!

但是郤又祈望每天睜開眼睛的時候能夠看到孩子。

這就是身為人母的矛盾。

那天,當我躺在病床上呼出最後一口氣的時候,我此生的責任完成了;靈魂離開肉身的那種感覺對於仍然有呼吸氣息的孩子而言,他是不會明白的。我活了這麼樣子的一輩子,躺在病床上以植物人的身份渡過了十九年的歲月,我絕對有理由讓自己好好去安息了;只是,孩子對我說的這一句話“放心吧!我會好好照顧自己”卻讓我放不了手!

孩子真的可以好好的去照顧自己嗎?

他跟我相依為命了十九年,我離開之後,他真的可以好好的繼續去生活嗎?

我又再擔心了!

這就是凡間的“母子情”吧!

當下,我已經魂不附體了。對於一個失去了主控肉身軀殼的老人而言,可以離開那個想動一根指頭也不可以的身軀,是一種解脫!

只是,在我得到解脫之後,仍然活著的人“情歸可處”?這有點兒矛盾吧!

從前是母親為兒子的生活勞心勞力,後來變成為兒子為母親的生活費盡心機;到了現在,又來到一個迴旋處的起點;那麼要到何時才能找到那個安息點呢?

說得淺白一點,就是如何去適應這種生活上的轉變;當初費盡了心力,從百般無助的環境當中尋找到一丁點兒的理由說服自己去把擔子放在肩頭上;之後,再把人生的價值觀放在這個理由之上,開始一天接一天的活下去。

日子就是這樣子的流逝了接近二十年。

我油盡燈枯了!

孩子亦年華老去,不再年輕了。

我看見他雙手抱著我的軀體,泣不成聲;只是在淌著眼淚。這就是孩子跟我道別的方式。

我知道在那一刻,孩子打從心底裡對往後的餘生不知所措。這種心境跟我十九年前有不盡相同之處;當我從重昏迷的狀況中甦醒過來再需要依賴“呼吸機”維持生命,眼前見到的就是這個孩子,我也知道這個孩子會信守從前在我面前許下的承諾;故此,縱然我無從表達,我的內心是踏實的。

只是,跟一個深愛的人同行相依走完最後一程人生路,那個仍然活著的,將要面對的會是怎麼樣子的一個世界呢?

世界或許從來都沒有在本質上有任何改變,轉變的只是依附在世界裡的人。在某一個人心中的值價認為是理應如此行的事情,往往在現實世界裡等同於枉費心機。或許,是一種殘忍的回應,要求一個離群生活多年的人重新回到現實世界去生活,並不是睡一覺,更換一件衣服,那就可以成事。

就正如孩子曾經跟我在天人相隔的閒談當中曾經說過“我本想跟你走到天涯海角!”,縱然他是知道我必定會先行一步;到了我真的要離他而去的時候,孩子木然了!

孩子認定這十九年來守在病床邊是正確的事情。

但是,當這一場人生劇目到了落幕之後,這個世界並沒有給與一種明確的態度去說明孩子的選擇是對的!

孩子曾經這樣的跟我在思念中說:「老兵從戰場帶著一身傷疤回來,縱然胸前掛上 百戰身存 之後所獲得的勛章,亦只是拿來告知世人在漫天烽火的沙場裡,孩子盡了能力,前赴後繼的做了應該做的事情;只是這種以往的肯定,並不是可以拿來確保往後活得安穩的一種憑證。」

來到人生第二個交义點。

站在這個人生交义點上,如何去安身立命?

“安身”是要找到一個容身之處。

“立命”是要為自己的人生找到歸宿。

當孩子第一天踏上 人生第二個交义點的時候,他既不能夠 安身,也沒有為自己 立命。

孩子需要開始預備離開那個跟我相依相處多年的窩室的時候,始終放不下那個為何要我變成為植物人的問題!

孩子,就是因為你還沒有預備好接受我要離去,我才會留在你身邊;讓你看到我油盡燈枯,再也不能待下去的時刻,你才會放手讓我離去。這我跟你都心裡明白了。

 

 

 

2018年5月29日 星期二

37 我是你的守護天使


《我是你的守護天使》 “I Am Your Angel”

曾經在跟 伊德媽 一起生活了十多年的舊居,坐在她的病床邊一起看著電視播放Cline Dion 演唱會;說得正確一點,應該是伊德在“看”,伊德媽 卻只能在“聽”。當播放到Cline Dion 跟另一位男歌手合唱“I Am Your Angel”的時候,眼淚就流下來了。
《我是你的守護天使》,就是每一個為人父母都會曾經在自己的兒女熟睡的時候,在他們耳邊曾經許下的承諾。
曾幾何時,伊德爸 和 伊德媽 一齊在 孩童伊德 熟睡的時候在他耳邊說過:「我們就是你的守護守天使」。
到了 伊德爸 離世前的日子,伊德 在醫院的病床邊,對他說:「我來了,你今天好嗎?」只是,老人家已經沒有能力回答。那一刻,在 伊德 的心裡,同樣有著一個身為 守護者的 責任,眼前人已經失去了照顧自己的能力,一切都只得依靠“親人”。
時間並不會因為某一個人,又或者某一件事而會停頓下來,依附在時間上不斷轉變的人生起起伏伏,時喜時悲,始終都會回到一生一死的軌道上運行。當來到了那段無言無語的歲月裡,在一個只得母與子獨處的空間裡,那個“我就是你的守護天使”這個念頭,油然地從一個孩子的心坎裡慢慢地走了出來。
不錯,從前,你們兩個人就是我的“守護天使”!
那個當下,就在 伊德 安靜地坐在 伊德媽 病床邊的那個晚上,從前的孩童已經不自覺地在命運的涓流當中變成了眼前人的“守護天使”。
今天,故人已逝,伊德 亦已經成為了其他人的守護天使。在那段“一生一死的軌道上”又再感覺到本來已經離開了的故人,在另一個地方默默守護著心裡仍然連繫他們的人。
這些或許就是從回憶走出來的慰藉,真確無誤的感覺到身邊時刻都有一位“守護天使”,再從這份慰藉當中找到仍然願意以活著的心境尋找生趣的動力。
“生趣”與“死念”往往都是從一個共同點上慢慢衍生出來的。雖然,兩者在固定下來之後都會殊途而同歸於“一生一死的軌道”上,但過程卻是天壤之別。


2018年1月3日 星期三

36 回頭太難

“回頭”對一些人來說,是“太難”的;但是,“向前走”對另一些人來說,同樣都是“艱難”的。
伊德媽,20147月走了之後,伊德確實感覺到有點兒筋疲力盡;竭盡所能守候在病床邊十九年,做了應該去做的事情,說了應該要說的話,人生要盡的孝和義都窮盡了;餘下來的日子,要如何呢?
就正如一個在沙場征戰多年的老兵,退役了,除下戰袍,回郷歸故里,是否就可以做回一個普通老百姓呢?
老兵百般滋味在心頭。
老兵飽嚐戰火洗禮,參與了人生最重要的戰役,活下來了,用外衣遮蓋著一身傷痕,盡其所能在大街上以一個普通人的模樣走著,再次看到早已經遺忘了的尋常百姓家的人生百態;無言。
因為,在戰場上死不了;老兵盡了最大的努力去說服了自己要重新適應那個好像是不再需要他的社會;他需要一份工作讓自己感覺到社會仍然需要他,希望以此證明過去在沙場上的各種歷煉是有其價值所在。沒有想到,在求職申請表的資歷欄內所填寫的“戰火沙場”,在眾多面試主管人員眼裡,卻並不是甚麼工作資歷。
老兵,無言。
“無言”並不是“怨恨”,只是有千言萬語不知從那兒說起;說得確切一點,是已經不想再說一遍了。
老兵 終於明白了!
人生閱歷,只是一份無形的資產,從口袋裡掏出來別人是看不見它的價值所在,只能夠把每一段人生閱歷轉化為平素的一言一行,才能夠彰顯出它們是無價之寶。

懸掛在軍服胸口上的勛章 是 嘉許昔日的功績,並不是未來的保證。

2016年12月5日 星期一

We were police we were young 9: Every day is a good day to study.

We were police we were young: 9 Every day is a good day to study.

There are so many names for police in Hong Kong; if who stationed at the Hong Kong Island, the colleagues will call you as “a policeman”. At the Kowloon Peninsula, the partners will call you as “a police station man”. At the New Territories, everyone will give you an appellation as “a security man.”
From “a policeman” to “a police station man”, and then being called as “a security man “, the images were getting sketchy and worse.
Actually, in 80s of last century, the establishment of ICAC was the most important factor to change the images of the Royal Hong Kong Police, and let it had been greatly improved. The Hong Kong Government had made the decision deliberately to create a good image of police, went to enact the writ of amnesty about who had committed a crime of corruption, but also given a significant raising of salary in a very short period of time, and then went to change the uniform of the Royal Hong Kong Police to wear trousers, all these measures were the consequence of the conflict between Royal Hong Kong Police and ICAC.
In generally who had being selected came into PTS in 1980s, his lowest academic requirement must be graduated from F5 of secondary school; but who entered into PTS through the way of the Police Cadet School, that would not in this limit.
At that time, the police students needed to attend the examination once every two weeks; that was answering in the multiple-choice questions. The contents of the questions were mainly around the law of Hong Kong and the Ordinance of Police, and these were including a lot of the questions about the nature of story; to ask questions in the form of a story, and go to see, is it any offense has been happened?
So, even if the police students how to carefully study the Law of Hong Kong and the Ordinance of Police, when they are looking at these story form questions, there will be got some murky feelings about what are the meanings of the questions!
Fortunately, we won’t need worried. In that time, “the Secret Book” had been circulated into the student lockers of the different class; it was not required to pay any donation to express sincerity in exchange for the questions of examination. This was an unlisted secret, everyone in the PTS had known, but nobody would say they knew that.
The answers of these questions of the examination were the assets which collected from the different students, who came from the different courses and the different classes, who in immediately written down from his recalled after the examination.
The instructors of each class assembly the contents of secret book through the sources on the variety channels, and assign them to their students secretly.
The each standard answers of “the Secret Book” were the outcome of detailed discussion and consulted the relevant ordinance at an immediately recalled after a lot of test by the different instructors and different students.
In sometimes, that would be appeared some problems in these discussions.
Because when the same story form question emerged in an another text, students according to the outcome of discussion answered the question, but the result of the test revealed who had followed the standard answer to answer the question, their score was reduced. However, who didn’t follow the answer which had been discussed, their score were increased.
That means the standard answer after discussion was not true, a corrective action required.
These discussion and correction after several times revisions, let it became to the legend of” the Secret Book”. So, every night, in self-study time, almost all of the police students must diligent reading “the Secret Book” while they were hard studying the Law of Hong Kong.
“The Secret Book” is the sacred object which can not be being known publicly.
Therefore, every time at the day of inspection, all of the illegality goods which were being stored in the locker of students must be evacuated, and temporarily kept in the office of the instructors. These were included self-purchased cleaning products, an excess clothes and quilts, radio and puzzle reading (adult magazine).
So, in the 80s of last century, the Royal Hong Kong Police Training School was totally filled with an atmosphere of reading, no matter what kind of books to read, we are all enjoyed it.

      香港對警察的稱乎有幾種;如果是駐守在香港島的,同僚會稱呼“警察”。在九龍半島駐守,會稱呼“差人”。在新界和離島駐守,會被冠以“打更佬”的稱呼!
從“警察”到“差人”再到“打更佬”,形象愈來愈“粗魯”。
其實,在上世紀八十年代,皇家香港警察的象形已經大大改善了很多;當中原因,「廉政公署」的成立,是最重大的關鍵。在“警廉衝突”之後,政府決心改善“差人”的形象,頒布特赦令對從前犯下貪污罪行的全港“差人”既往不究,又大幅度加薪,軍裝差人的執勤制服改穿長褲,刻意打造出一個新的“警察”形象。

從八十年代開始,一般被挑選進入警校的學員,最低的學歷要求都需要中學五年級畢業;從少年警察訓練學校途徑進入警校的學警就不受這規例限制。
     那時候的學警,需要每二星期接受一次考試,是以多項選擇題的方式作答。題目以香港法例和警察條例為主,但是當中卻包含了很多故事題。以故事方式來發問有否干犯任何法例。
        
所以,就算學警如何的用心熟讀香港法律和警隊條例,當看到這些故事題的時候,都會有似是如非的感覺!
         
但是,大家可以放心,那個時候已經不再需要以獻金方式來表示誠意換取考試題目,亦已經出現了不同版本的《天書》流傳在各班學警的私人儲物櫃內!這是不公開的秘密,全校上上下下都知道,但又沒有人會說自己知道!
           
這些考試題目,是結集了不同學期、不同班別、不同學警的“考試後即時回憶”寫下來的資產。每一班別的正副班主任都會透過各種渠道集結成書,不公開的分發給自己班別的學員。這些《天書》的每題標準答案,都是由不同的班主任和不同的學警在無數次的考試結束之後,在記憶尤新的時候詳細討論與查閱有關法例條文之後所得出的結論!
          
有時候,這些討論結果會出現問題。因為當下一次出現同一條故事題的時候,學警以討論所得的答案填寫選擇題,但成績出來的結果,發覺所有依照討論答案作答的學員分數都同樣減少了,而沒有依照討論答案作答的學員分數卻有所增加!這就表示了討論的答案有問題,需要作出更正。
         
這樣的討論和更改,經過多次的修訂之後,便成為了傳說中的《天書》
          
所以,每天晚上的學警自修時間,大多數學員都會一邊溫習香港法例和警察條例,一邊熟讀《天書》。
         
《天書》始終都是不能公諸於世的傳說聖物。所以每次大查房的日子,正副班主任都會把學員儲物櫃內的所有違禁品收藏在教官宿舍內!當中包括所有自購的清潔用品、過多的被子和衣物、收音機和益智讀物(成人雜誌)
       所以,上世紀八十年代的皇家香港警察訓練學校,全校上上下下都是彌漫著一片讀書的風氣,不論是閱讀何種書籍,大家都樂在其中!



2016年11月27日 星期日

We were police we were young 8:From left hand left leg to right hand right leg.

We were police we were young. 8: From left hand left leg to right hand right leg: Marching.

When you curse someone didn’t give any help but reversely giving you some troubles, you would say: “Don’t get in the way on my business.” In Chinese “Please don’t left hand left leg.”
Do you know why scolding someone “Please don’t left had left leg…”rather than others.
In 1980’s, the junior police students were starting from the basic step with unarmed in the parade of Police Training School. To two months later, they will be assigned a rifle with bayonet which hadn’t been fired shots; at this stage, the police students will need to learn a series of steps of rifle drills.
“You must be walking steady usually, before to start running on the road.”
This principle is very appropriate using on the march.
All of the instructors for marching training are male, and the students need to learn the stand attention position as the first step in PTS, but almost all the teenage of Hong Kong have had a back bending problem, this problem must need to solve in PTS. Actually, because of the back had already bended, so that couldn’t to fix that immediately, it always to reveal the old problem in not aware case.
The good instructor will have always alerted students must be the chest up. (So many instructors like to teach the marching course of the female class.)
The bad instructor would be gave you a punch on you back without any warning.
If the students being trained in winter, they will be wearing the long-sleeved sweater, it doesn’t matter even if have a little back bending.
But in summer, the male students are not wearing the T-shirt, if so appeared “back bending” in marching, it doesn’t look good.  Even more can not “back bending” if the shoulder is holding a rifle . So that, the general instructor will be spent more time to correct the basic stand attention position of students, always reminded students to feel the center line of the body, posture must be straight as they felt their center line of the body.
The instructor demanded the students must have the sense of rhythm. It must be stiffed, and doesn’t look good if the marching without any sense of rhythm.
Initially, the whole squad can call out the steps of marching and accepted by the instructor, so, if you heard the whole squad call out the steps of marching passing from your side, this squad must the new one.
From stand attention position to start marching, the steps are starting form left leg, therefore, the whole new squad will always call out “left… left…left, right, left”. Left leg step forward and right hand straighten at balanced to the shoulder, fingers up and seized the fist; left hand put behind at 45 degrees
When the steps were wrong, someone wanted to correct the steps but influenced by another one as the students of the squad didn’t match to each others, it would be happened the left hand and left leg moved forward at the same time.
This is the “left hand left leg”.
You can try to walk with the left hand left leg at the same time at home, that you will know how ugly you have done, and you have never seen it before.
It was the disaster as the “left hand left leg” happened in the playground that must be attracted all kinds of “Yan Chi Ching” from the all directions.
Consequently, the instructors will be prevented their junior students entered into the playground, let them to practice at the small playground for several weeks, and then will leading them marching into the “Holy land” to feel the echo effect of the PTS until to make sure the students have strong enough facing the pressure.

當你去罵人做事幫不了忙,反倒過來妨礙其他人的時候,會罵他:「不要左手左腳!」
知不知道為何會罵:「不要左手左腳呢?」
一九八零年代,在警察訓練學校的步操,初級學警是先從基本的徒手步操開始。到了兩個月之後,便會分配到一支不能發射但配有刺刀的步槍;到了這個階段的學警便要學習一系的步槍操練步法。
“未學跑步之前,平時行路一定要平穩。”
這個道理應用在步操上十分恰當!
學堂負責教導學員步操的全都是男性教官。學警第一個要學習的動作,就是立正。香港青少年,大多數都有曲背的問題,這個問題來到學堂便要糾正。因為習慣了曲背,所以並不是要改正便可以改正,通常都會在不自覺的情況下出現老毛病。好的教官,會經常大聲提醒學員要“挺胸收腹”。(故此,有很多教官都想教導女學警步操!)
不好的教官,便會在毫無提示的情況下在你背部給你一記老拳!如果在冬季日子受訓,身上穿上了長袖毛衣,就算真的有少許曲背,問題也不大。但是在夏天,男學警都是不穿上衣,若然步操的時候曲背,就不好看!
如果是肩托著步槍,就更不可以曲背!所以,一般教官都會花很多時間去糾正學員的基本站立姿勢,經常會提醒學員要感覺到自己身上的「中線」,當感覺到身上的「中線」,姿勢必定畢直。
              教官在學員接受步操之前,都會要求學員要有節拍感覺,沒有節拍感覺的步操絕對是“生硬”的!不會好看!最初,教官會容許整個步操行列一同在口中叫出步法,所以當你聽到一整個步操行列的人都同時叫出步法口號的時候,這一個行列必定是新丁!
              從立正到起動,步法是由“左”開始,所以新丁都會一直著“LEFT”……“LEFT”……“LEFT”“RIGHT”“LEFT”,左腳踏前便右手伸直提起到肩頭平衡,手指頭向上合實拳頭,左手擺後45度。
    當步法錯了,行列中的學員互相不配合,有人想糾正自己的步法但又被其他人影響,便會出現在左腳踏前的時候同時伸出了左手,這就是“左手左腳”,你可以試試以“左手左腳”在家中走幾步,看看會有多麼難看!
    在大操場上出現“左手左腳”,絕對是大災難!必定會招徠從四方八面送來的“三字經”!
    所以,教官通常都會避免讓初班學警進入大操場,要新丁在小操場的某個角落苦練數週,認為有把握的時候,才會帶領新丁操入大操場,讓學員感受大操場的回音氣勢!





2016年11月17日 星期四

We were police we were young. 7 The training of foul language

We were police we were young: 7 The training of Foul Language

"Yan Tsz Ching " (三字經) is the classical Chinese reading, but it also means foul language in twenty-century Chinese society, because almost all the Chinese foul language is composed by three single word that is as like as the instruction of “Yan Tsz Ching” by three single word. If you want to be used smoothly in foul language (Yan Tsz Hing), that must need to be learnt diligently. Let them to make a suddenly shocked the people, it must need to more listens, speaks, practices and used with emotions and sounds in the different kinds of occasions.
When I was a child, my father was a guy who loved stand by Male-dominated the family, although he didn’t have any educated, but in my memories he had never been spoken foul languages in the faces of the family; he had just only to speak some Chinese adverb, not the foul language for the most exciting times. For example: in any case I will(“老虎蟹都要…!”).
My mother had never been a formally education, but she can read and write; she doesn’t allowed her children speaking foul languages at home since I was born. As I was brought up in this background, it let an eighteen years old teenage boy to create some foul language from his mind to suit to use by himself while he lives in the Police Training School, and have to listen different kinds of foul language from all directions comes into the ears from the beginning of sunshine.
The two instructors of Q class have abilities changed their speaking channel. They had never been spoken foul language in class and hostel, just only to perform a little stern attitude treating their students in public places.
The aim of the performance of speaking foul language at public place, is preventing the others instructors come to do something about “none of your business”, and trying to protect their students stay away from the troubles.
In my memory, once in the playground while parade with other students of same course, a classmate who standing beside me, he was suddenly lost in space, the reaction was too slow about the orders by the parade in charge officer, and because of its was the parade of eighty students, it was very striking as one student in the parade of eighty students didn’t following the beat; there was a dangerous situation waiting for me as the poor guy who standing beside me became to a target and attracting the eyes of all instructors.
When the attack by “Yan Tsz Ching” from the all directions coming into the playground, the echo of effect with the time equation made them became a voice of ghost: “ you…you…you…are…are…are…the…the…the…son…son…son…of…of…”; at this critical time, the vice-class instructor of Q class was the first running to in front of my classmate, and said softly “attention...this is the shows...” during many of the instructors who had developed muscles with angry eyes hastily approaching in front of my classmate. And then the vice-class instructor changed his facial expression became to a wolf’s face, used his hands pushed the chest of my classmate, so that it lets my classmate moving backward; and a matching attitudes and sounds of “Yan Tsz Ching” with the series of action coming from the mouth of vice-instructor to extend greetings to the whole family of my classmate.
The actors were succeed in showing their abilities; the instructors who expected to come to give a punishment to the slow-moving classmate were stopped their foot, and enjoying the show during the vice-instructor showing evil expression to his student.
Perhaps, the reasons of the called curse from the instructors to the students were let the students who came from the normally family trying to learn how to accept an unfriendly circumstance; first of all to know how to react as encounter someone to treat them in awful, before they have abilities to treat someone with “foul language”.
Finally, I have known to need to change the channel in the different situations, and already have abilities to concentrate the three words “Yan Tsz Ching” into one word, under the intensive training of how to use “Yan Tsz Ching”.


“三字經”是要用心學習才可以應用自如。要多聽、多講、多練習,才可以恰切地在不同的場合配合不同的“三字經”融合感情和聲線對目標物造成剎那間的震
    小時候,父親是一個大男人,沒有受過教育,但是在自己的印象當中,他沒有在家人面前說“三字經”,最激動的時候,也只不過說出一些“助語詞”不算是“三字經”。例如:“老虎蟹都要…!”
     媽媽雖然並沒有正式讀過書,但也會讀書寫字,自小家中都不容許孩子說“三字經”。在這種生活背景之下,一位十八歲的小朋友在警察學堂中的生活,每天從太陽升起開始,便不斷聽到各式其式的“三字經”從四方八面走進耳朵裡,不自覺便會在腦海中自行創造出適合自己運用的“三字經”!
      
當時Q班的正副班主任都是懂得“轉台”的警務人員。在課室和宿舍內不會“爆粗”,只會在公眾場合,對外人稍稍表演一下自己是如何嚴厲的對待學員。
      
這種在公眾地方的“爆粗”表演,目的就是在緊急的關頭,避免其他教官多管閒事,不讓自己的學員受到外人的(問候)
       
記憶中,有一次在大操場上同期男學警會操訓練的時候,站在自己身邊的同學,突然間“迷失太空”,對負責這次會操的教官“口令”反應過慢;因為是接近八十人的會操,某一位學警的遲鈍動作在八十人襯托之下特別顯眼;身邊同學的“迷失太空”頓時成為了眾教官的焦點,站在他身邊的自己,也意會到了一種將會“殃及池魚”的感覺!
      
當“三字經”開始從大操場四方八面罵過來的時候,在空曠地方所造成的回音以不同的時差激盪著:「你…你…你…老…老…老…!」就在這個關鍵的瞬間,多名粗手大腳的教官怒氣沖沖的急步走近同學面前的時候,副班主任便搶先一步走到同學身邊細聲說:「留心…做戲!」
隨後,副班主任立刻在臉上展示出豺狼的面孔,用雙手推撞同學的胸口,讓同學不停的後退,這套動作當然是配合語氣相若的“三字經”來(問候)同學的全家上下!
    這個小小的戲份成功了,本來打算要教訓這名動作遲鈍同學的其他教官,看到副班主任神情兇惡的表演,都停下了腳步來慢慢欣賞!
    或者,在學堂內教官對學員的叫罵,就是要讓出身正常家庭的學員去習慣被別人經常(問候)的環境,在未懂得用“三字經”去罵人之前,先行懂得被別人用“三字經”(問候)要如何反應!
    結果,在密集的“三字經”訓練之下,自己亦學懂了在不同的環境需要轉到不同的台號,同時亦把“三字經”濃縮成為“一字經”!